What’s your meaning of a brave choice?
For me, I define a brave choice as any decision that is in service of my highest self — in service of my values and what I truly want. For me, it doesn’t have to mean I’m overcoming fear (although fear is usually involved).
Some brave choices that I have made in the past:
- Leaving my corporate job to travel the world
- Starting a business
- Telling my husband what I want and need
When I’m about to make a brave choice, I feel some anxiety and nervous energy, my heart races a bit, and there’s a level of uncertainty because I know a different reality is on the other side of that choice.
For my clients, some of their brave choices have been:
- Advocating for themselves at work
- Changing their career path from something expected to something they really want
- Setting boundaries with their parents
Usually, a brave choice isn’t easy. But, it’s a choice that feels right and honors what is true for that individual.
Why are brave choices important?
Well, first let’s talk about choices in general.
As folks with immigrant roots, we have been conditioned to believe that we don’t have a lot of choices. Our families have taught us to follow what they want for us, usually from a place of survival. White supremacy culture has taught us not to trust our own decisions and, at times, very blatantly telling us we don’t have the right to choose.
Now, the language I hear a lot from our community is, “I should, I have to, I need to.” And without being fully conscious of it, those statements are also us relinquishing our decision-making power to things outside of us. For example, maybe to the pressure, we feel from family, or the timeline that we’ve been conditioned to follow.
I “should-ed” on myself for a loooong time.
I should just look for a secure job, I should want to climb the ladder, and I should just be happy with what I have.
👉🏾 What “should’s” come up for you? What choices would you make if shoulds weren’t part of the process?
Brave choices are important because no matter what they are, those decisions are us taking a step toward what we want and what we’re meant for.
Whereas “should” choices are a step towards someone else’s wants for us, which, gone unchecked, will inevitably lead us to a destination that doesn’t feel right.
How to start making brave choices
First, I want to invite you to start being very conscious of your choices.
One way to do that is to replace your “To Do” list with a “To Choose” list, with the awareness that everything you put on that list is a choice. Even if it’s doing laundry or watching the next episode of Stranger Things.
Start shifting from should and have to to CHOOSE to. And then notice how those conscious choices feel.
Ready to make brave choices but don’t know how to start?
Join my Living Bravely Program. This is a clarity and courage program tailored for 1st & 2nd generation immigrants of color. Through a culturally-centered and trauma-informed approach, you will be supported to get unshakeable clarity in what you want and make 3 Brave Choices to change your life.